Fifteen
Looking into my memories box I found a lot of stuff that I had forgot all about it , and I realized so many things too. I felt so nostalgic .. some tears come to me founding my diaries , reading them like I'm trying to figure out who is this person! seven years ago, lots of spelling mistakes and off course grammar mistakes, I was about fifteen for god's sake and I wrote my diaries in English jornalizing every thought I had back then, I mean looking at my little sister who's fifteen right now is just so weird thinking ho could she be my sister! she has nothing in her mind other than bullshit .. how was I so smart, as I or was it just my time back then , our teen time which was so important , so great to live , lots of memories lots of moments I wish I could go back to to just feel those feelings again, I tried to recognize that person writing those diaries I couldn't actually I didn't believe that was really me, lots of lyrics of songs , lists of movies to be watched and lists of sings made by my best friend who's still my best friend till this day.. maybe that's the only thing that hasn't changed.
I couldn't understand how in hell can this person developed to be me.. I was obsessed with lots of weird stuff , cute handsome guys I wrote about, my sister who I was also fighting a lot with her , yeah we can add this point to the stuff that haven't changed. I remembered the old songs I was writing their lyrics to memorize and better my English.. I remembered my hangouts with my best friends and all our crazy talks and chats, and how we shared many things together. I wondered again about my sister teen time now and how it's so freaking different , it really blows my mind that I was doing and experiencing all that and she's now in the same age I was and she has nothing better to do than watching tick tock videos and eating all the time , apparently she plans to eat me in my sleep one day, or maybe burn me in my sleep and then steal my cloths.
I found many letters of her telling me that she's so sorry and she loves me so much.. she actually was super cute when she was so little.. we used to play together and fire up the kitchen late at night while our mom wake up shocked and shouting at as.. I remember us giggle in bed until the sun comes up and we're still awake..Sometimes I try to give it a chance and make memories with her like that again.
I found so many words about how life is hard with my mother and how she drives me insane like everyday, but in the same time I found words telling how much I love and appreciate her and how much I admire her strength and appreciate her way of always trying to make me happy and make me better. I remembered how beautifully she gave me a kiss in the morning or after I come home from long day at school, how happy she was when I get good grades or when I help her in house work.
I also remembered the night before my first day in high school and how terribly I was scared and excited .It was in our grandma house, I kept listening to Taylor Swift all night, that song "Fifteen" how convenient it was, I had a bad nightmare that night that I was falling from a high building, remember my grandma , she was assuring me to sleep and hugged me so tight. It's so strange how time flies and take a lot of great things with it , how we were so innocent and cared about nothing, we didn't know overthinking, we didn't know much about growing up, we thought we can make our choices easily but we didn't know how fucking hard life is and how much we would love to come back to those days and feel all of those feelings all over again .I read the diaries and saw all of things I kept from those days like they're jewelry, in fact they were .. they're very precious to me, I truly miss that girl that wrote those words and kept all those things,I even hugged these things so tight like I was holding the little young me, yes.. I was holding her because I freaking miss her ,I miss how incredible and alive she was
I couldn't understand how in hell can this person developed to be me.. I was obsessed with lots of weird stuff , cute handsome guys I wrote about, my sister who I was also fighting a lot with her , yeah we can add this point to the stuff that haven't changed. I remembered the old songs I was writing their lyrics to memorize and better my English.. I remembered my hangouts with my best friends and all our crazy talks and chats, and how we shared many things together. I wondered again about my sister teen time now and how it's so freaking different , it really blows my mind that I was doing and experiencing all that and she's now in the same age I was and she has nothing better to do than watching tick tock videos and eating all the time , apparently she plans to eat me in my sleep one day, or maybe burn me in my sleep and then steal my cloths.
I found many letters of her telling me that she's so sorry and she loves me so much.. she actually was super cute when she was so little.. we used to play together and fire up the kitchen late at night while our mom wake up shocked and shouting at as.. I remember us giggle in bed until the sun comes up and we're still awake..Sometimes I try to give it a chance and make memories with her like that again.
I found so many words about how life is hard with my mother and how she drives me insane like everyday, but in the same time I found words telling how much I love and appreciate her and how much I admire her strength and appreciate her way of always trying to make me happy and make me better. I remembered how beautifully she gave me a kiss in the morning or after I come home from long day at school, how happy she was when I get good grades or when I help her in house work.
I also remembered the night before my first day in high school and how terribly I was scared and excited .It was in our grandma house, I kept listening to Taylor Swift all night, that song "Fifteen" how convenient it was, I had a bad nightmare that night that I was falling from a high building, remember my grandma , she was assuring me to sleep and hugged me so tight. It's so strange how time flies and take a lot of great things with it , how we were so innocent and cared about nothing, we didn't know overthinking, we didn't know much about growing up, we thought we can make our choices easily but we didn't know how fucking hard life is and how much we would love to come back to those days and feel all of those feelings all over again .I read the diaries and saw all of things I kept from those days like they're jewelry, in fact they were .. they're very precious to me, I truly miss that girl that wrote those words and kept all those things,I even hugged these things so tight like I was holding the little young me, yes.. I was holding her because I freaking miss her ,I miss how incredible and alive she was
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