Photo of me

I knew how to pose infront of him , 
I didn't feel nervous of him taking a photo of me and I knew how to pose in that moment with no effort.. 
I miss that feeling I had the night we met 
It was the last time I felt that so beautiful feelings , rapturous , safe , glowing and I was definitely so stupid that night.
It's kind of all the feelings that you always want to have forever , rewind all over again just to have that single moment of joy , when I talked with him , when I really for the first time didn't feel time .. I can not miss him more . His stupid smile , that barrier that didn't exist in our talk like we knew each other for many years, him complementing my taste of music, his cute face reactions to me talking..
I hate how much i miss it, I hate how much I miss the moment of being next to him 
I hate how my heart aches each time I remember my feeling that wasn't mutual , I hate what I think of each time I remember how he didn't see me the way I see him.
Despite the people I meet , I can never get over that one time we met , the one time that changed all of me , the moment I had chills once I got back home.
I remember how stupid I acted, talking non stop , not wanting to go home and not caring if he noticed
I hate that I still miss it all 
I hate how that genuine feeling that I had that night didn't let me notice him not liking me back.. he didn't feel the same , he didn't and each time I stop unconsciously and think about it I burst into tears.
Every time I see on my phone that photo he took of me on that night .. I miss him so much.

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